I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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