Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
