I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
