Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
