she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
