I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
