apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
