okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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