i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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