her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
