She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
