Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
