she was so not down for the gang bang
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
