In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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