i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
