I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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