sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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