I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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