Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
