I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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