My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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