You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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