Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
