Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
