Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You left your phone here
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