I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
