my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
