She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
