Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
