i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
