why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
