She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
