he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
