The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
