her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
