Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
