Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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