if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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