I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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