Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
