when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
