she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
