so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
