ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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