When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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