Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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