Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
