Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
