no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
