I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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